Beauty & Fear

This pic is with my first born. I think this is called a ballet bar and we were trying to get my pelvis to stretch. I had a crazy kidney stone and was hopped up on pain meds to level the playing field. I had to be induced early so that I could go into surgery for that stupid stone and make sure my baby didn’t get addicted to the narcotics I was on. I was on an insane amount of pain medication.

Nothing could have prepared me for childbirth. The fear and anxiety that can creep in, the erratic heartbeats and oxygen masks. It was a whirlwind.

God was with us in the middle of the beauty and the fear.

But do you know what kept me sane? What kept me from going into a full anxiety attack? The moments like in this picture. My husband holding up my belly and talking to our son. “Good, Good Father” being on repeat in the background. Family and friends that surrounded and prayed with us. A doula, and friend, who helped keep the atmosphere peaceful and guarded our space as a new family in the making. And a nursing staff that was playful and knowledgeable.

God was with us in the middle of the beauty and the fear. When we invite him into those spaces, he always knows exactly what we need to continue to embrace the promise that we can do all things in Christ …especially when we feel the pull to run in the opposite direction.

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