The Deed

There are so many terms used to label sex — “the deed, hanky-panky, horizontal polka, nookie,” I’ve even heard it called “family worship” (lol) but whatever you choose, sex and intimacy in marriage should be fun, passionate, adventurous, consensual, creative and treated as a gift. I had premarital sex and then decided to re-submit my sexuality to the Lord until marriage. Was it easy?

NO.

Was my husband worth me waiting?

ABSOLUTELY!

There was no better feeling than knowing through all of my mistakes, God was gracious and loving in purifying what was meant for my hubs.

A large issue I noticed while rewiring my perception of sex was many Christians found it to be dirty, boring or a “sacrifice of love” to their spouses. That really bothered me. I thought Jesus gave it as an awesome wedding gift for us to enjoy, reconnect, comfort and worship together, not just for procreation.

I thought Jesus gave it as an awesome wedding gift for us to enjoy, reconnect, comfort and worship together, not just for procreation.

Sadly, there are so many things that can taint and destroy the purpose of this intimate act — rape, incest, abuse, adultery, pornography, body image issues, etc. — and make us cringe at the thought of anyone touching us. I’ve also heard women have the mindset of “just get it over with.” These heart wounds are a challenge to overcome but not impossible. God can restore the beauty and joy of sex and intimacy before and in the midst of marriage.

Also, there’s nothing wrong with getting creative and fanning the flame in your marriage.

• Take a sexy dance class and show what you learned,
• wear the neck-plunging dress on a date – men, wear that outfit that hugs all of the places your wife loves,
• research new bedroom “acrobatics” (there are safe, tasteful Christian websites available) and laugh and have fun seeing what you can manage,
• send a steamy text (as long as it doesn’t pop up on multiple devices…thanks Apple),
• or schedule a “lunch meeting” or midday rendezvous.

Define, or redefine, what sex and intimacy is or will be for your marriage. Take back everything the devil has stolen, even what pertains to sex, sexuality, intimacy and marriage. There’s nothing wrong with you and your spouse enjoying each others bodies.

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