I had an amazing wedding planner and still felt like a crazy person. There were so many decisions to be made, last minute changes in the wedding party, key family backing out of the ceremony, all the while trying not to be sad about a lot of my family not being able to attend.
Stress.
And stress affects your body and if you’re a woman, your cycle. Whatever you call it, “it” decided to make its appearance THE DAY BEFORE MY WEDDING. Good ol’ Aunt Flo, the Crimson Wave, the Girl Flu, the Red Dot Special. **insert expletives here** Everything in me wanted to panic and weep because you go months having this perfect idea in mind of how your wedding night will be–or maybe that’s just the planner and perfectionist in me.
Our wedding night was just as blessed and amazing even though certain options were on hold.
Either way, I sucked it up and declared it didn’t matter (this was after pep talks with my bridesmaids lol). Our wedding ceremony and wedding night was gonna be amazing, doggone it, and IT WAS. We had family and friends in attendance that loved and supported us. The weather was perfect. The food ah-mazing—we had breakfast for dinner—and my husband and I had a blast dancing, socializing and taking pictures. Our hearts were full and I had not a care in the world concerning our wedding night.
Without going into detail, because this ain’t that type of party 👀, our wedding night was just as blessed and amazing even though certain options were on hold. That night, because it wasn’t perfect by the worlds standards or my own, was indeed perfect and still goes down as one of the best nights of my life.
It’s not because I finally got to kiss the man I loved as much as I wanted to—our first kiss was at the altar— but it was a beautiful picture of our future. He didn’t force me to do anything I wasn’t ready for, or shame me for not being able to perform my “wifely duties,” and he was never resentful or angry for making him wait to fully consummate our vows. He was kind, understanding and delicate with me and my emotions.
I’m so grateful that night didn’t go according to my plans because a piece of my heart received healing knowing that my husband, not husbands in general, can and will love me in the midst of my imperfections.
Photo: Matthew Danser Photography
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