There are places in Austin, cities in Texas, that I avoid like the plague because they remind me of an event or person that hurt me. Not “step on my toe” hurt, but “created a deep wound that caused me to question my worth as a person” hurt. These places were no-go’s for me because the memories they drudged up were too painful. My habit became avoidance until being forced into situations where I had no choice but to go to those places.
I was a part of a beautiful wedding and the destination was at a place where the last time I visited was with an ex that, honestly, almost broke me as a person. I questioned everything God had promised me because of how this one person chose to speak to me. I couldn’t help but wonder:
Will anyone ever love me? Will I have a family? Did I mishear God? What did I do for someone to be so cruel to me?
Even with all of these questions, I still couldn’t allow myself to sit and take root in his opinion of me.
Had I latched onto such toxic words and traded them for God’s promises, I would’ve missed the gifts He had stored up for me.
A couple of years later I watched the lovely couple stand on the rock my ex and I once sat on and declare beautiful vows to one another. I watched this alongside my amazing husband, pregnant with our first child–I could feel God nudging me to never doubt Him again. What a beautiful memory to replace such a broken one.
Had I latched onto such toxic words and traded them for God’s promises, I would’ve missed the gifts He had stored up for me. Though it takes bravery, this too can be your story. Don’t cease living, dreaming or having faith in God based off of the pain of misused words. You are worth far more than a stagnant life. There’s abundant life waiting for you.
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Photo by Radu Florin on Unsplash
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