There’s an innocence and feeling of safety that’s lost when someone takes it upon themselves to touch or interact with you in a sexual manner when it’s not consensual. You see the world, see men, very differently. Their strength becomes your enemy and their covering perceived as controlling.
I was a pre-teen out with two girlfriends and we were hanging with three older boys we thought were cute. So naive. I remember it being cold outside, giggling, feeling “grown” (since we had no business being out there), and then suddenly all of us being pinned to a wall. They began putting hands in un-welcomed places and I remember thinking, “They’re going to rape us. All three of us. Right here. And we’re too small to fight them off.” It was late and the school grounds were empty, so screaming was pointless.
I can’t recall if I prayed for help or if God just decided to step in, but suddenly they stopped.
They released us and I can’t explain the weight of gratefulness that washed over me, as well as the urge to run home. We adjusted our clothes, commented about how painful the experience was and never discussed it again. That evening, plus several other events witnessing violence and anger towards some women in my life, changed how I viewed men. They were hostile, careless and strong and we were rag dolls, weak toys to be grabbed and groped at their disposal. It has taken years of processing, talking with trusted men and women, and witnessing men using their strength with love to heal the wound and perception that latched onto me that day.
…your heart, soul, mind and body can be restored.
I know some men and women have been violated at varying degrees and it’s severely damaging. Let me encourage you – your heart, soul, mind and body can be restored. There is a reality and gift of healing waiting for you when you decide to fight fear and resentment and begin walking towards liberty and snatching back everything that moment, those moments, stole from you. You CAN live a life of peace, healing and wholeness, knowing that you and your body are valuable, precious, worthy of love, gentleness, respect and protection.
There is no wound too big or deep that God cannot heal.
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Photo by Isaiah Rustad on Unsplash
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